Dis-ease and Intuition: Illness Is Your Body in Conflict

By Ari Koinuma on January 29, 2009

I’ve been under much stress this week. Over the weekend I decided to live true to my intuition and since then I’ve been dealing with the full-on terror (that’s what it feels like to me!) of what it’s like to make decisions without knowing the reasons why.

I tell you, I never knew that I relied so much on knowing how my actions are justified.

On Monday, I got a very strong sense that I needed to buy a new digital camera for my business.  Not just a point-and-shoot, but a digital SLR.

What?

I’m going to be in MUSIC business, you know.

So I kept questioning myself.  I began looking on eBay but what I saw didn’t comfort me — they cost more than what I feel comfortable to pay for a piece of equipment I don’t know why I need it.

But the voice inside my head was telling me not to delay, to act now.  I said, no, I don’t wanna.

By last night, I was starting to feel a knot in my stomach.  I felt a sickness coming on. Only after 2 days of resiting my intuition.

So I finally gave in.  Last night I placed an order on an older Canon.

As soon as I hit the order button — my deed was done, I can’t take it back any more — I immediately felt a tremendous sense of relief.  I may not be able to tell you the reason why, but I know I made the right decision. It’s possible that in 3 months I’m going to sell it, but buying it now was something I needed to do.

I also know that had I continued resisting my intuition, I would be home sick today.

I firmly believe that an illness is an indication of a deeper inbalance in your system — not just physical, but mental and spiritual as well.  A person who’s self-actualized, having the time of his/her life, doesn’t get sick.  But a person who’s suppressing deeper problems also doesn’t get sick — well, they do, but not sick enough to make them stop and reflect.  And the latter is very dangerous.  I have seen people who were known to be healthy go-getters all the sudden develop major illnesses like cancer and die young.

Bob Proctor says in the movie the Secret that disease is dis-ease, your body not at ease.

I may have increased my family’s financial risk last night, but my body is more at ease today. That’s gotta be an indication of something.

2 Comments

  1. vee says:

    I used to think like this. That is I thought that I knew the reason I was ill or why other people were ill. A respected teacher
    once explained this as the violence of interpretation. AT the time I was so sure about “intuition” I really did not get what she meant.

    Having followed my intuition for some time now I realise that there are many things we will never know. It is entirely possible to not be able to find a reason for anything you have done in the past. ALternatively you may concoct a variety of reasons to make you feel
    comfortable about your actions.

    You may have a spending addiction and had to buy the camera to fulfill the need to be in debt.

    The Secret is not a secret. Its a repackaging of old ideas. It can give license to many people to be impulsive. Certainly I have used these ideas myself, long before the Secret appeared and it ceratinly felt good at the time.

    What ever reason you find for the camera purchase, I suggest you revisit it in 10 years time. And then again in 20.
    Vee

    Reply
    • Ari Koinuma says:

      Hi Vee,

      Thanks for the comment! I’m amazed that you found this old, buried entry.

      I can definitely see how “violence of interpretation” can happen. After all, we can make whatever out of whatever events. You can interpret somebody hitting you as a sign of love — and who’s to say it can’t be?

      That said, I find it useful and important to always look back on my actions and draw some kind of meaning or lesson out of it. Sure, it’s completely a self-made interpretation. But I also do feel that at least in the hindsight, we can connect dots.

      I do think we can misinterpret intuition, or be impulsive in the name of being intuitive. I wrestle with those issues at every turn. Sometimes I get it right, other times I don’t. Either way, I do draw something useful out of it afterward.

      So it’s the process of wrestling with these issues that’s meaningful — and even when we’re wrong, it can still be good.

      ari

      Reply

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