Well, there’s nothing wrong with being introverted and reserved.
I used to think that I was somehow inferior, not doing things right and missing out on opportunities, by not being more outgoing. But now I just accept it. Being a Highly Sensitive Person, an unfamiliar social situation can feel painfully uncomfortable. So I keep my distance, happy to remain in my peaceful solitude.
But, I also realize that there’s a danger here, too.
Being reserved and being withdrawn are two different things. In my book I would define “shy” as being afraid of unfamiliar people or social circumstance, and that fear is not the same thing as recognizing that it’s a strong stimulant that I can only take in small dosage.
And fear, my friends, are flags pointing out challenges, waiting for us to overcome them.
People like you
You live in a dream world
You despise the outside
And you fear the next one
It’s in your dream
There’s just one question
Should I kill?
Or should I be left behind?
Sick and tired of all your complaints
This is the hour we bring it down
I’ve come to realize
With every little glimpse, you fade
I was told that I could fly
When least expected — cloud connected
The more we give in to the fear and insecurity, the more they take over, and they become you. They create habits and you start to do things without conscious decisions, without realizing.
I was out in a park with my family this weekend, and saw this father and daughter riding a cool bike. I’d never seen one like it — it had a smaller wheel on the front and on top of it was this flat rack on which the child (or a cargo) can sit. I’ve been interested in getting racks for my bike, so my first thought was “wow, that’s cool — I wonder where he got that?” And my next thought was about how I was going to mention it to my wife and together we could wonder how or where he got that.
Then I thought, wait a minute. Why don’t I just ask him?
So I did, and he told me that he and someone else welded together a few things to concoct this custom bike. Bummer — it’s not something I can just buy somewhere.
The point here, is that I caught my own withdrawing tendency. I have been making it a point to be reserved but not shy, and I just uncovered another small habit that was originally driven by a fear.
With each fear challenged and overcome, I believe that we can eventually live fearlessly. That’s not to say that we throw all caution to wind or be reckless when safety is to be considered. But to live fearlessly — making every decision because you believe it’s the right one, not because you’re afraid of any consequences — wouldn’t that be so freeing?
I really like the last lines of the chorus in this song. Overcoming fears may not make us instant Superman — but somehow, it just seems to lift us, in ways that are unexpected. I love that.