I’m in the process of putting together a micro site that outlines my vision for my progressive rock band.

The big ‘aha’ this weekend was that it’s a band, nothing else.  I’ve been shying away from using that word to describe it, because right now I’m by myself and that word suggests a group of a few members, who are actively writing and gigging together.

What I’m putting together is a band.  There’s no question about it.

It just feels a bit overwhelming looking at it at the onset.

So, I’ve been putting together this micro-site and I’m putting in lengthy manifesto of what I envision in this organization.

But there’s this voice inside that constantly injects helpful remarks like “hey, that sounds too grandeur,” “who are you to put up a goal like this — you haven’t accomplished anything!” “you’re asking too much,”  and so on.

Very distracting, to say the least.  When I first started putting together the site, I was shaking with excitement about how I’m finally expressing this vision of my band that I’ve been holding inside for years.  It’s only been a few days, but now it seems like every sentence is bombarded by 10 reasons why I shouldn’t say it.

It’s been my experience that every creative project goes through 3 stages:

1. Initial inspiration
2. Middle-stage struggle
3. Final sprint

The stage #2 is where you’ve lost the original elation of the inspiration, but your project isn’t together enough yet to give you confidence that the end output is going to measure up to what you originally was excited about.  Then #3 is usually a rush to the end, as there is a deadline or you’re simply burned out.

Oh, I should probably add the 4th stage.  After being finished and getting away from it for a while, you come back to it and you’re pleasantly surprised by how good it is.

It seems that web sites even fall under the same umbrella for me.

But last night there was a pleasant surprise.  I was listening to my current 11-minute song and shaking my head — that song’s still firmly in stage #2.  It doesn’t sound good to me, not good enough to use as a demo to showcase as the musical example of my current direction.  Sigh.

But then I stumbled onto an old demo of another song, one I’ve been missing and looking for.

And it’s good.  Grin-inducing good.

So I had my little revenge on my Inner Critic.

There.  Take that, you bastard!  :-)