So yesterday I talked about the emotional backlog. When feelings stay stuck inside you for long, it shows up both in your physical and mental system in various ways. Physically it can manifest as symptoms, diagnosable or not. I have a vulnerability in lower back. I have “broken” it many times. It’s associated with this fear that I can’t keep up with my responsibilities.
Mentally, it can show up us a value or judgement system. I see certain events and automatically jump to conclusions, whether they are warranted or not. When my world view is that the world can overwhelm me if I let my guard down, I react with suspicion and apprehension every time anyone asks anything of me.
So how do you get out of these patterns? Like everything else, you do have to notice it first, to know that it exists. But the healing begins when you stop fighting that feeling you’re trying avoid and fully feel it. Yes, it’s uncomfortable. But you do you best to embrace it, instead of saying “I shouldn’t have to feel this way, things shouldn’t be this way.” I found that positive thinking, visualizations and affirmations have reduced impacts and little long-term improvements when I’m fighting against these stuck emotions. Those are not bad advices but it’s not the right situation to apply. You can’t put good stuff into your jar when you have old and rotten stuff filling it. You have to dump out the old stuff to make room for the new. (No emotions are “bad” actually but being stuck inside for long does turn them toxic)
If you’re carrying stuck emotions you’d feel them every time an event triggers it, but the critical difference is that acceptance or embrace of it, instead of judging it as undesirable in your life. If a little child comes to you crying, it’ll be cruel to rebuke it, saying how s/he shouldn’t be crying or feeling pain. That child needs a hug and loving words. Your stuck emotions are like a little child. You have to accept it with your arms wide open. That’s going to hurt but it’s the way to heal.
Only after you feel the pile of stuck feelings and you start to feel its weight lifting, then you can use those positive thinking, visualizations and affirmations to rewrite that programming. The stuck emotions can write scripts in your mind but when the feelings are gone you’ll have less reasons to think the way you used to. Those scripts can more easily be overwritten now.
So the big realization here is that counter-intuitive part about having to embrace these uncomfortable feelings. “The way out is through,” Michael Brown writes in his book “The Presence Process.” It also ties with the basic concept from Byron Katie’s “The Work.” Dots are starting to connect, as we mine deeper truths about life.