“Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness.” — Alejandro Jodorowsky
I think I am living a dream.
Ever since releasing my last cover, I’ve been doing two things with my free time. 1) Working on a recording, or 2) fighting the Resistance against it.
Resistance is the concept of push-back against all good things in life. Coined by Stephen Pressifled in the book “The War of Art.” The greater the potential for the good, the greater the Resistance.
Anyway, I know about the Resistance and I can overcome it. But the part that I am still getting used to is this: actually doing what I’ve always dreamed of.
One weekend day I played bass and guitar for like 4 hours. I seriously worried that my cubital tunnel syndrome will make another comeback. Next day my left forearm felt heavy. It did recover fine after that, though.
My lower back is aching and constantly warning me: “I am having a hard time supporting you.”
My system is not used to powering my dream life. It is intense hard work, to write and record music. Especially original music.
But when I’m in there, I am in the deepest flow I’ve ever experienced. It doesn’t register as happiness per se. It’s more that I am completely immersed. I forget where I am. I have no idea how long I’ve been there. I don’t need anything else, other than to be left there undisturbed.
I thought that I’d feel happy and excited, to actually live my dream after a lifetime of dreaming. And I think those feelings are coming.
But for now, I am in an awkward transition. I wake up and can’t wait to revisit the music in progress. I fight the Resistance. I comfort and cajole my heart and body that it’s going to be OK.
And I’m sharing this, not because I need sympathy or moral support. After all, I am doing great.
I just wanted to paint a picture of what this moment looks like. This bird spent his lifetime believing that his wings are not big enough to fly. He’s finally learning how to spread his wings, but feels anxious and fearful at first. It takes time for a new belief settle in.
But I will learn to do this. To actually live my dream.