King’s X “Higher Than God” from Tape Head

Life is full of ups and downs, and when you’re down, then you yearn for the up — except, when your down is your norm, then even when you’re up, you know it’s going to come down.  And sure enough, it does.

This song is that resentment, the grudge against the mistrust I feel about the “up” state, how unreliable and fickle it seems.

Once I felt inspired
Everything was new
Thought I could do anything
Especially with you

Once I thought you loved me
Everything was true
Thought I found my answer
Thought it was in you

Cold as an icy stream
Lighter than everything
I thought that we were higher than God

As I get older, though, I become more and more aware of the real truth behind the whole ups and downs.  That is, if you’re having that dramatic of a shift between highs and lows, your foundation isn’t very well-formed yet.  And be careful about over-indulging your drama, because there’s a different way to be.

You don’t have to reach out and sustain the highs.  Rather, we can bring up the lows.  To diminish the difference between the two extremes.

When more of your life stays in the peace of being Pretty Good, then you’ll lose the craving for the extreme highs — and you won’t miss the pain of hitting the bottom.  You just simply be.

That resentment, that sense of betrayal you feel from falling off the cliff is very real — and you can clench fist and bang on your walls to express your anger.

And then you can calm down, and slowly and quietly, start lifting from bottom up.