Insecurity breeds sensitivity.
What other people say can hurt you, if there’s a piece of you that believes in it.
Think of this: when someone tells you “you’re stupid.” Can it hurt you? What does it take for that statement to cut through? If it comes from your parents? Your spouse? Your children? A complete stranger? A drunkard?
I’m sure it won’t hurt if it was uttered by a 3-year old, even if he’s raging mad and fully intending to be mean to you. Unless s/he actually caught you being shamefully stupid.
I’m not saying that you can’t make mistakes or have faults. But to be ashamed, to hide your shortcomings — that desire comes from a place of insecurity. A deeper suspicion that you are not OK.
So when someone blurts out something that you’re secretly fearing — then it hurts.
Spinning further, deeper
I know you’re out to try me
I’m not in this to be a slave
Push the dirt
Make me feel
Locate what swallows life
You build my world
And then I close my eyes
Judge me now
Used to be afraid to let it show
I’m in a much better place now
Everything’s in place
So much brighter from today
A king in my own mind
If it’s hard not to get shaken when other voices are around, it’s OK to retreat for a while. To go find a solitary place. Do something that quiets the screaming voices in your head.
Because if you can find that peaceful plateau inside, and spend time being connected to it — then distracting elements of the outside begins to matter less.
You may think it’s self-indulgent, but I’ve come to accept that. There’s a place where we all have to start. You are the owner, architect and master of your own world. If you can believe that, if you can deeply settle down as the monarch of your kingdom —
Then what the outside world says will not matter. You will live in peace.