Song Reflections: Jerry Cantrell “Psychotic Break”

This is a heavy song, in just about all aspects.  It’s not a song I can listen to casually, because it’s so intense.  But sometimes we do feel that intense, the weight of our situation, our interpretation, our gifts.

I feel the fear take on
Reside in darkness, thrive where most won’t go
Adrift, I curse my gift
And hope you never know

Taking it gracefully is my modus operandi in stressful situations.  Stay calm, don’t act from emotions.  But that means sucking in the strong emotions that exist, not letting them show.  So I really relate to this song, when I feel like I’m given something, and I’m trying to hold it in, hide it from the view, because I don’t want you to know what I have.  It’s a secret I really don’t want anybody to know.  That’s how I maintain peace, at least outwardly.  Be the calm in a storm.

Of course, you can’t go on forever like that, you need an outlet.  That’s where these heavy songs come in for the rescue.  Difficult situations are like gifts you didn’t want (even though a lot of times they end up being what we needed, in a character-building sort of way).  One more secret to add to my pile, the ones I need to make sure you don’t know.

So I listen to Jerry curse his gift and struggle to hide it, and I find comfort in knowing that I’m not alone, that a song was given to me to let me know that I don’t have to keep on carrying these secrets.  These songs provide me places to go, to unload the burden.