So continuing on yesterday’s post, the best practice is to feel whatever “negative” emotion you have first, and then steer it toward a more desirable outlook.
That’s easier said than done.
Yesterday I had an incident where I got very mad. Except I realized that I can’t get 100% mad. I escaped to my private space but I still couldn’t unleash my fury.
I learned from Michael Brown’s The Presence Process that the ability to feel emotion is like muscles. When it’s not developed you can’t lift heavy weights. My angry muscles are very undeveloped. I had fully intended to act it out by kicking and screaming but I couldn’t bring myself to do so, even in my safe, alone space. I must be carrying life time’s worth of anger as a baggage, because I never felt them.
Boy, do I have a problem.
So I turned to music. I categorize my music with the moods they convey to me, so it’s easy to pull out stuff that express how I feel. Metal is the most overtly angry music I know, so I listened to songs like Slayer “You Against You,” Sepultura “Roots Bloody Roots,” System of a Down “Boom,” and In Flame “Everything’s Gone.” That loosened me up a little and after that I was able to scream my silent screams.
Being an empath I can’t stay mad at any single person for very long, I can’t help but see where they’re coming from and where I could have been different to avoid any anger-inducing incidents. But that is separate from fully feeling the anger until it’s done. This is not about letting others know how mad I am. I just need to fully embrace my anger. The lesson of the day was that my anger muscle is underdeveloped and I am not capable of fully channeling and experiencing my anger.
So I intend to listen to more angry music to help me lift where my muscles fail on their own. Until I feel like I don’t quite relate to the same level of anger any more. Then I can change my playlist to include songs that contain the feelings I want to feel.
We all know that music is a powerful mood regulator. It creates a safe space in which makes it easy for you to focus on certain feelings. Metal music sometimes gets criticized for not conveying enough of “redeemable” values but in this context all emotion and all music has perfectly valid and useful roles. You can collaborate with your music catalog to navigate your emotions. You can use it help guide your heart from first embracing the feeling you need to experience, then onto a better outlook. You don’t want to get stuck in the misery and anguish but if that’s where you need to go music can help you get there, and then get out of there.
We put on workout music, put-ourselves-to-sleep music, calming music, and so on. We also put on wedding music, funeral music, sport event music. We already use music to enhance and create moods. It’s very powerful. In the same manner you can use your music to help you get in touch with your feelings, and then to lead you away from them when it’s time to leave.
What music do you turn to when you’re angry, sad or depressed? I’m always looking for more recommendations. Let me know.