Giving up on Struggling

I need to give up on struggling.

Struggling is a habit, an approach, a life philosophy. It’s the state of making tremendous, strenuous efforts that don’t return as much as you put in. Working too hard. Being over-fixated on the anguish and frustration. A point of view that some things in life are difficult.

It’s difficult when you don’t know how to do something. Where the root cause is. What are the right questions to ask.

It’s probably better not to start the effort unless you have some idea.

People who succeed have great work ethic, which looks like “hard” work from the outside. Steve Vai practiced guitar 10 hours a day! But yet he said he never struggled. It was all labor of love. When you strike the right chord, the effort feels effortless. There is work  but it doesn’t feel hard. If it does, then there is some sort of forcing somewhere.

Maybe your effort is to create a particular outcome, a goal, and not the activity or the journey itself. That can create a struggle. Or maybe there is a belief somewhere that says that you can’t do it, you can’t have it, you are not allowed, you don’t have the permission, you aren’t qualified. So you compensate by working “hard.”

It’s all in the mind. But yet struggle is real. Struggle is a marker pointing to some sort of lesson I am not learning. I should pause when things feel strenuous and look for that lesson. I’m probably not asking the right questions. My coach Tom Volkar told me that the quality of the answers depends on the quality of questions.

So Ari, I know it’s scary, I know you identify yourself as a struggler, a person who identifies with the Suffering. But let’s see if we can gently brake. If it feels hard, strenuous or difficult, I give you permission to at least pause and examine it. See if you can find joy and easy flow nearby. There is work, yes, but what really works feels more effortless. Look for that feeling. It is OK to follow your bliss.