The Root of All Problems

Whatever problems you have in life, the chances are, it’s rooted in stuck feelings.

When we are little, we have no barrier. We absorb everything around us, particularly from our parents and family. Whatever they say and they feel, we suck in and make it our own.

Young children can’t control their emotions, so they naturally act out everything they feel. They smile when happy and they cry when hungry, sad or in pain. If you observe a young child throw a tantrum, after a while s/he will be done and act as if nothing happened. When life events make you feel something, you move on from it by basically feeling all of the generated feelings.

But sometimes events create such strong emotions that you can’t feel all of it in one sitting. Our psyche has a fallback mechanism for this. Whatever feelings we didn’t feel, we store them in our subconscious and then in our physical body. There they wait for you to revisit and feel them.

The problem is, we seldom revisit those feelings. So they get stuck in our system.

These stuck feelings create problems for us. Because we didn’t move on from them, they create a formula, a limiting belief. For example, I had a belief that I was undeserving of attention. So virtually all my friendships, relationships, and attempts at finding my audience as a musician presented the experience of showing up and not being given attention. Every single one contained that heartbreak, and to remedy I tried hard to prove that I am either exceptionally impressive, or a martyr.

Our stuck feelings make us be drawn to situations that recreate the original feelings. It’s their way of seeking to be finally addressed.

This insight changed my life. I finally figured out how to get unstuck and break the pattern, which is to do what a little kid would do: throw a tantrum. Engage in, fully feel and express your feelings, until you feel it no more. Not easy, not quick, definitely “worse before it gets better.” But my life is being transformed after months of embracing any and all painful feelings.  Now I feel very passionate about spreading this understanding.

If you are reading this, I hope dots are starting to connect in your mind. There are tremendous implications here.