The world, unfortunately, is full of people with bad vibes.
We all struggle, we all have our pains and scars. This is not a judgment, but an observation. It’s easy to see others with bad vibes. But we ourselves also may not be contributing anything better.
Especially if all we do is to join them where they are.
For whatever reasons, many of us feel like we must hang out with the crowd that get us down. All the while complaining about them. How dare they interfere with our efforts to live positively, we say. It is not our fault the world is a mess.
But here’s the rub. If we don’t rise above, we are one of them. It matters little that our intentions are in a better place. To someone else, we are part of the bad vibe clan.
If we all have our baggage and trauma, what sets some folks apart?
In my mind, it starts with permission.
Permission to be an optimist, when others focus on what’s wrong. Permission to excuse oneself, when others attend parties they despise. Permission to offend others, especially when they get offended one way or another anyway.
Permission to be different, and be OK with it.
They may say we are unsympathetic. They may say we are weird. They may say we are selfish.
Are they right? I had to find out, so I tried. I put distance from people who didn’t feel good.
I didn’t feel better right away, but I noticed that I felt lighter. And I spent a lot of time grieving. Grieving about how they feel so bad. Grieving about the names they called me.
Strangely, I felt lighter and more buoyant, the longer I grieved. I cared less what they said. The bad vibes receded into memory. I started having compassion for them, even, instead of resenting them.
There is little that anyone can do to folks who don’t permit themselves to be anything other than miserable. But you can give yourself that permission and become a beacon of light. An example of how to have good vibes instead.
Who knows. Maybe someone will notice that you feel different. Maybe they will become curious as to why you feel better than others.
We don’t get back at those who drag us down. The best revenge is to feel better.