Highly sensitives are said to have a large range of emotions. I can attest to reacting dramatically to life events and arts. People with more common emotional range may be able to use emotions as a gauge of how you are doing. That feels harder for me. From day to day I react strongly to seemingly benign events. Everything may be going in the right direction. But depending on what happens that day I may not feel very good at all. Or the other way around is also true: even if I am not feeling good, everything may be OK.
So what’s confusing is that the world is full of prompts to act based on how you are feeling. Rest if you are tired. Reach out if you are lonely. Things are well if you are happy. Is that still true for HSPs? Perhaps. But because our feelings are strong, perhaps they don’t serve as a good gauge of your situations. They are not convincing reasons for doing things.
I’ve spent a lot of time in bed the last 18 months. I am learning to feel these feelings, without taking actions based on them. Even if I feel bad, I may not really have a problem. The feeling may change, if I just sit with it. Or it may not. See? It can be confusing.
We can all use trusted advisors for this reason. Perhaps HSPs more so. Someone who is compassionate and understanding, with shared values and sensibilities. To see me and go “yeah Ari, you are OK.”
You have probably heard the parable of long chopsticks. (Or spoons? Hey I am Japanese, I’ll stick to chopsticks) They are longer than your arms, but you must use them to eat. But it’s impossible to use them to feed yourself. It only works when you use it to feed each other.
I’m here for you if you need support. I am good at providing it. I can help you gauge how your life is going. But it’s hard to do it to myself, to tell how things are going.
So friends, I hope I can count on you. Ask me how I’m doing, and let me know if you have reasons to believe I’m not OK.