Many of us are conditioned to believe that we are not worth anything. As we are, we are not presentable, we shouldn’t show up. We are allowed to see the light of day only when we are presentable and have something to offer. So we hide and keep the world at bay, and wonder, “why do I feel so lonely?”
Loneliness comes when you are disconnected but wanting connection. It can also come when you are semi connected but yet it’s based on something superficial, not the real person.
In my soul searching I pondered, why do I even exist, other than to fulfill my obligations? But as the cloud lifted, I got an idea.
I exist, because I’m a good existence. It’s good for the world that I exist. With all the quirks and idiosyncrasies. And it’s good to let others get to know me. Because when I show the real person that I am, some may relate to it, and that creates a sense of connection. Loneliness is not a bad feeling but too much of it can be a drag, so….
I know that the first statement there is a leap of faith. But all of us has a choice to believe that. It may not be easy if you were strongly conditioned to believe otherwise. You will have to fist grieve why you didn’t get the positive reinforcement before you can dislodge the unsupportive worldview. Whatever it takes, it’s in our best interest to believe that we are good existence. Because whatever you believe, you’ll find proofs to support it. It’s obvious which belief empowers you, and which doesn’t.
Showing up and being seen is a risk. Especially when we are taught that we are not worth anything. Sharing anything I create is a risk, from writing to music to selfies. But life presents risk and reward joined at hip. You can’t have one without the other.
The truth is that I don’t truly know why I exist. But since I do, I am choosing to believe that it’s good that I do. And while I exist, it’s even better if I am seen and have others get to know the real person. Because humans are hard wired for connection. And there is still too much existing without connecting out in the world. While I exist, I want my existence to be a tiny nudge in the positive direction.